Thursday, November 12, 2009

An Open Letter To the Paparazzi Guy Who Got Decked By Tyson

Uh… Where to begin? Are you an IDIOT? Did you seriously get in Mike Tyson’s face and try to take his picture? While he was with his family, no less? Dude, he bit a guy's EAR off. You really want to tangle with that? What the fuck is wrong with you?

On that note, what the fuck is wrong with all you paparazzi douche bags? Climbing trees, high speed chases, airport encounters? Even the famous deserve some degree of privacy. There is no level that these fucktards won’t stoop to. Did you know that the lady that had her face ripped off by a chimpanzee had to hire an armed guard because she knew the paparazzi wanted a picture of her face?

Imagine a world without Perez I-can-call-you-a-faggot-because-I-am-a-homosexual-but-straight-people-can’t-use-that-word Hilton and TMZ(which I thought meant Teenage Mutant Zinja Turtles until Fluffy told me that I’m an idiot). Imagine if everyone lived their own lives instead of Jon and Kate Plus 8’s lives. Imagine if people stopped giving a fuck what country Brangelina’s next child was going to come from and started worrying more about what grades their own child was getting.

Are celebrities really that cool? No. The only reason they get so much attention is because this crap is shoved down our fucking throats every time we turn on the fucking TV or Radio. Frankly, I don’t give a baker’s fuck if Lindsay Lohan is on drugs again. Guess what? That’s her life, and her cross to bear. I can’t stand that chick, but at the same time, I sympathize with her because she can’t even leave a fucking voice mail without her dad going public with it. Or A-Rod. So what if the guy has a picture of himself as a centaur hanging over his bed? What’s hanging over your bed? Which is creepier, staring at yourself as a half horse-half human hybrid, or staring at a picture of your family, while you’re doing things… that adults do….in bed? Ya know… things.

Wow. So the open letter totally turned into an anti-paparazzi rant. Oh well. If you don’t like it, tough crap.

- Bunny

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