So today, I thought I would take a step back from my normal writings, and make this blog a little funnier. I received a criticism by Dan T. saying that my blog was not what he would call funny. So here goes. Enjoy.
A chicken and an egg are sitting at a bar. A drunk walks up to them and says, “So which one of you came first?” The chicken looks at the egg, back at the drunk and says, “Your mother.”
A man and a giraffe are at a bar drinking. The giraffe gets so drunk he passes out. Shortly thereafter, the man gets up to leave. The bartender says to him, “hey, you can’t leave that lyin there.” To which the man replies, “That’s not a lion stupid, it’s a giraffe.”
A ham sandwich walks into a bar, the bartender says, “sorry, but we don’t serve food here.”
What did one manbearpig say to the other manbearpig? GWOAN!!!!!(Most of you probably don’t get this, but for those of you that do, I hope you enjoyed the manbearpig name drop.)
Al Gore is out jogging one morning, notices a little boy on the corner with a box. Curious, he runs over to the child and says, "What's in the box, kid?" The little boy says, "Kittens, they're brand new kittens." Al Gore laughs and says, "What kind of kittens are they?" "Democrats," the child says. "Oh, that's cute," Al Gore says and he runs off. A couple of days later, Al Gore is running with his buddy Bill Clinton and he spies the same boy with his box just ahead. Al says to Bill, "You gotta check this out," and they both jog over to the boy with the box. Al says, "Look in the box Bill, isn't that cute? Look at those little kittens. Hey, kid, tell my friend Bill what kind of kittens they are." The boy replies, "They're Republicans.” "Whoa!" Al says, "I came by here the other day and you said they were Democrats. What's up?" "Well," the kid says, "Their eyes are open now."
A man limps into a bar with a cane and alligator. The bartender stops him and says "Hold on a second here - you can't bring that animal in here, they aren't allowed!" So the man says, "But my gator here does a really cool trick..." The bartender says "Well then, lets see!" So the man whips out his dick and shoves it in the gators mouth. He then takes his cane and starts bashing the gator in the head with it. A crowd gathers around and everyone is astonished when he pulls out his dick without a single scratch.He looks around at the crowd and says, "Does anyone else want to try?" An old lady raises her hand and says..."Sure, but don't hit me with that stick."
A koala walks into a bar one night, slams his paw down on the table, and orders a drink. When he's done, slam goes his paw again for more. This goes on for about half an hour, and just when he was going to do it again, the barkeep told him if he was looking for a good time, there was some one in the back room who could help him, the koala decides why not and goes into the back room. There he meets a prostitute who is waiting for him. That night he has the best sex he has ever had. After the prostitute turns to the koala and says, "How about my money," the koala looked confused and the prostitute brought out a dictionary and it said...PROSTITUTE: Has sex for money.So in response the koala turn to the definition for the koala and it says. KOALA: Eats bush and leaves.
I hope you enjoyed the jokes, and have a Happy Thanksgiving. Before I leave though, I would like to showcase the anonymous comments of what I am assuming is a fan of our writings. I am sure that no matter what I say, someone is going to try to say I wrote this in response to Vicky’s writings, but I did not. With that being said, it makes some accusations in the comments. By reposting this, I am in no way validating these accusations. I do not know if they are correct or not, so don’t try and bring this back on me. Also, it is very vulgar, so if you get offended, don’t read, and blah blah blah blah blah. Enjoy.
“Sounds like that Vicky bitch. God what a cunt she is. Fucking whining, lying, hypocritical hippie Frog skank...go back to France, Vicky where you can lounge around with the rest of those pansie asses over there.
By the way, Vicky, so nice to hear you call someone a woman hater and all other sorts of names when you ran a fucking escort ring...taking money from girls who have sex with strangers. And you have the audacity to say anything to a guy who called one girl a cunt? Whoops! Did your glass house just break with all that stone throwing?”