Monday, January 18, 2010

Let's Play Conspiracy Theorist

Before I begin, I want to make it perfectly clear to everyone that I am not a conspiracy theorist.  Sure, I enjoyed "The DaVinci Code", but I don't equate everything to a big government conspiracy.  That being said, there are many people out there who think there is an ulterior motive for everything.  They refuse to take things at face value, and honestly, I think they should seek help from a medical professional as soon as possible.  However, their stupidity, much like that of the Democrats, makes them an easy target, and like the cheetah's on the African Plains, I am going to weed out the weakest target and attack full strength.
Ladies and Gentleman, I present to you...*Drum Roll* The 9/11 Conspiracy Theorists!!!!  As most of you may know, there are some people out there that believe the attacks that occured on 9/11 were either allowed to happen by the U.S Government, or were orchestrated by the U.S Government.  As crazy as this may sound, they have a decent amount of followers.  Some of thier key points are as follows:
How could the plane that attacked the Pentago have flown for 40 minutes without being tracked by radar?
Why has no one been fired for the attacks?
Why was a translator who claimed to have known about the attacks, silenced by a gag-order?
Why didn't the missle batteries and air defense systems stationed around the Pentagon not deployed?
Why was George W. Bush allowed to finish his day with the classroom as scheduled, without concern for his safety?
There are some other points that are completely ridiculous, unfounded, and only defended by the editorials of fellow-minded conspiracy whack-jobs.  However, the goal of this entry is not to debunk this conspiracy.   If I wanted to do that, I would simply point out that, IF the Government had known about the attacks beforehand, there would need to be hundreds if not thousands of people that had access to the information(Believe it or not, George W. Bush did not gather, interpret and disseminate the intelligence gathered during his tenure), and someone would have come forward.  But thats not my goal today.  My goal is to ridicule and poke fun at these stupid people, and to do that, I am going to do things their way.

Let me present to you, possibly the greatest cover-up known to man.  This will push the Kennedy Assasination to the deepest depths of the archives.  Crazies everywhere will put the footage of the first moon walk on the back burner to investigate this.  Believers everywhere, I implore you to investigate...*drum roll again* Flight 1549!!!  Some of you that are "in the know" will know that I am talking about the U.S Airways flight that splashed down in the Hudson in New York City. 
I'm sure you're asking yourself, what exactly is he getting at.  Well, if you stick with me, I will take you along a journey of set-up and deceit that would make Richard Nixon proud.  If you think you have what it takes to accept the information I am about to present to you, please continue.  If you do not, then please, leave now and never speak of this incident again.
Let us start at the very beginning.  Flight 1549 was struck by a flock of geese.  This disabled both engines of Flight 1549, which eventually led to Captain Sullenberger, hereafter known as Sully, landing the plane in the Hudson River in New York City, saving the lives of all 155 passengers and crew on board.  At least... thats what THEY would have you believe.  Let's look at some of the "coincidences" that led up to this day.  Sully began his career of flying at a private airstrip near his hometown, but a large part of his training came from the USAF Academy where he learned to fly gliders.  That's right, folks.... GLIDERS!!!  You know, those planes that DON'T HAVE ENGINES!!!! 
That alone is a startling fact, but lets look at one other thing.  Sully has an extensive background in Emergency Management, and even runs his own safety consulting business.  On top of that, he participated in a National Transport Safety Board investigation into an aircraft incident that "led to improved airline procedures and training for emergency evacuations of aircraft".
Let's be honest for a minute, shall we.  The airline industry was facing a lot of pressure from passengers due to delays in scheduling, and the addition of baggage charges for most airlines.  When you combine that with the fact that planes are struck by birds every day and continue to function perfectly, we are faced with the harsh reality that this incident had to have been staged to give the airline a "feel-good" story.  I mean, think about it people, the only way Sully could have been a better pilot for this "emergency" was if he had written a book entitled, "How To Ditch Your Plane In The Hudson If Both Engines Become Disabled By Bird Strikes."  I'm not one to point fingers, but this story seems awfully fishy to me.......
Alright, now that that is out in the open, I want everyone to know that I in no way think that what Captain Sulenberger did is funny or a joke.  Him and his Co-pilot saved the lives of 155 people that day, and they both should be remembered as hero's.  I was reading around on the internet and saw the glider fact and thought that this would be a fun entry.  I promise, I don't think there is a conspiracy here.  I only used it to show that anything can become controversial, and people need lives. 
Until next time

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