Monday, July 20, 2009

Not so Silly String

While tweeting today about a new topic for a blog, The Democrat suggested I blog about the fact that silly string is illegal in L.A. Well after calling bullshit, throwing the appropriate bullshit flags, and filing the proper forms in triplicate, I Wikipedia’d that shit to find out that it is indeed TRUE and that SILLY STRING is illegal in L.A. Here’s the scoop:

Silly String is indeed banned in L.A on Halloween night. The following is a blurb that I pulled off of the Wikipedia page:

"In 2004 the Los Angeles Mayor James Hahn signed a council-backed ordinance (LAMC Section 56.02) to ban Silly String in Hollywood on Halloween night. The ordinance calls for a maximum $1000 fine and/or six months in jail for use, possession, sale or distribution of Silly String in Hollywood from 12:01 a.m. on October 31 to 12:00 p.m. on November 1. The law passed in 2004 and as of 2009 is still in effect."

After reading this garbage, I decided to do some comparison shopping on criminals in L.A. Let’s say I get pulled over at 10:30 P.M on October 31st. I’ve been driving responsibly, I only had one beer at the bar, and I am wearing my seatbelt. The driver approaches and I give him my license, registration, proof of insurance, etc… The following is a made up encounter by yours truly.

Officer Dickweed: Do you know why I pulled you over, son?

Mung Socks: Well, no Officer, have I done something wrong?

O.D: I saw you roll through that stop sign back there. Have you been silly stringing at all tonight?

M.S: No Officer, I was just coming home from visiting some friends.

(Officer Dickweed shines his light in the backseat and sees 2 cases of Silly String in my back seat)

O.D(in his radio): Uh, yeah, I’m gonna need some back-up. Looks like we have a serial stringer here.

(To me): Sir, I’m gonna need you to step out of the vehicle, SLOWLY, and put your hands on your head.

To make a long story short, I could essentially be arrested for having cans of silly string in my car. And I know your thinking, but Mung Socks, that’s the law, you have to follow it. Therefore, I decided to compare some famous prison sentences with that of my own.





Mung Socks

Driving while in possession of Silly String with intent to distribute.

6 Months in Jail. 1,000 dollar fine for each of the 48 cans.

“But Officer, I was just trying to organize a birthday party for my 2 year old”

Paris Hilton

Pulled over TWICE for driving with a suspended license. License suspended due to alcohol-related reckless driving.

23 Days in lockup.

“I’ve been through a lot, and it was a pretty traumatic experience, something that I really have grown from.”

Nicole Richie

TWO DUI’s and admitted drug use.

4 days in jail and a $2,048 fine. Released after 82 minutes due to “overcrowding.”

"It's time to take responsibility and not take the easy way out."

Lindsay Lohan

TWO DUI’s, Cocaine possession and driving with a suspended license.

Wait for it….. 84 fucking minutes!!!

I’ll wear this bracelet to prove I’m not drinking. Ooops…..

Dante Stallworth

DUI and Second Degree Manslaughter. He KILLED a guy.

30 days in jail(24 served), plus 1,000 hours of community service, 2 years of house arrest, and 8 years probation. He has also received a life-time suspension of his driver's license.

I drank, at maximum, 4 shots of premium tequila.

Let’s recap. That’s 7 DUI’s, 3 driving with a suspended license, one felony drug possession, and someone KILLING A GUY, and a grand total of 47 days and 166 minutes of jail time. In comparison, I could potentially spend 6 months in jail for a fucking can of SILLY STRING?

Wow. Thanks for the laughs, stupid Democrats.

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